I visited a spiritualist for some peace of mind.

This was something I wanted to do for myself.

Yes, it did cost some money. But it was MY decision. I did this for some peace of mind and some self-healing and self-loving.

I wanted to book an appointment after my trip to Hawaii…..which was an interesting self-reflection type of vacation.

I did my research and read reviews and then decided this one particular person was the one.

She books out weeks in advance, so I did have about three weeks to mentally prepare myself.

It was an hourlong session, but it actually ran an extra 15 minutes because she was in her flow.

So here’s how it pretty much went down:

I arrived and had my phone ready to record and notepad ready to take notes, which were encouraged because there would be a lot of information to process. She began by letting me choose a stone or gem that was calling out to me, lit up some sage and call out to our spiritual ancestors and angels for guidance.

Although doing all of that was out of my element, I was trying to keep an open mind, which she said would create a better reading or at least give her a better understanding of who I am or where I’ve been.

The night before, I recorded a short memo to myself to express how I was feeling. I was extremely nervous for some reason. It created anxiety. I think I was more scared of what she was going to say and being unsure of what I was going to hear. I woke up before my alarm clock because I was just STRESSED OUT.

The session in itself was a new experience. I had a good connection with the spiritualist/healer. She is definitely someone who will not sugarcoat what she’s saying and will be honest and upfront. No hard feelings. It’s always nice to have a good connection with the person who is reading your birth chart and cards. You’ll end up having a better experience.

Back to my session: It was new, it was different, it was a little uncomfortable in a good and bad way, but it was something that I wanted and needed to do.

I would say it was about 90% accurate in terms of the characteristics she was able to determine. While some of the things she pointed out made complete sense, there were times where it was a little off but carried some truth.

After each “revelation”, she would say or ask “does that make sense? Explain what this means to you.” So after every revelation, she would ask me how does this connect to my current or past circumstances. I wasn’t prepared to really answer every single time because it’s like holding up a mirror and looking at yourself. It’s a bit uncomfortable and you’re not always going to like what you see. So you have to face the truth.

While I could go back and listen to the session on my phone, I also don’t want to hear my voice and listen to my awkward answers.

As she read my birth chart, I took notes. During certain times when she was talking about my specific planets, she would tell me to write down the phrases to google later on. This…. I still have not done. I’ve been marinating on this for a while obviously. I think I’m just scared to actually read the “textbook” answers. One day, though.

At the end of the session, she realized she went over time and we never got to the tarot card portion. She told me to make another appointment since this was supposed to be included in this initial session.

I had my second session about a month later for my tarot card reading.

It was only a half-hour long, but this what I was needing the first time around. Although it was nice to have my birth chart read, it was just a lot of money altogether. But money aside, I’m glad I did it.

And right now, all I can say is that I feel clean, a little renewed. I feel like I got my answer to what has been bugging me for YEARS and especially the last few months. I think deep, deep down I knew the answer, but I was holding out hope for the longest time because I was longing onto the possibility.

It didn’t completely change my mind on how I feel, but it gave me a perspective that sometimes you can’t have always have closure. Sometimes you don’t need the closure. Sometimes you just have to move on.

What she had told me what to not live in a fantasy and focus on living in reality. There are opportunities and people out there for me as long as I allow myself the ability to open up to them.

It was disheartening to hear her say the opposite of what I’d been hoping. She could tell by the look on my face. She even apologized for making me feel this way, but she wanted to speak her truth.

I told her to not be sorry and that I needed this, regardless.

I know it’s going to take time for me to adjust to what she revealed, but she also gave me hope about the future and that it will make sense…eventually letting go of this feeling.

And by letting go, I’m free.

Until my next adventure,

Vanessa

 

 

What Began as a College Project..

Happy 2018, everyone! I know, I know. I’m late.

I cannot believe that it was only five posts ago that I was saying happy 2017. I know, I know. I only wrote five blog posts for the entire 2017.

But hey, I’m proud that I’m even keeping this blog alive. What began as a college project in 2014 has now evolved into something that I genuinely turn to for comfort, a creative outlet, and as an escape during my so-called adulting.

I still consider this a lifestyle blog. However, I’ve noticed that it’s really something that I turn to when I need to vent and to speak up. To get things off my chest. Things that I’m sure many early-to-mid 20-something year olds can relate to.

In some aspects, I think I’ve been somewhat discussing what many millennials may be feeling or experiencing. Maybe it’s more of the same, but at least I’m writing content that is authentic.

It’s kind of similar to a Youtuber that I’ve been following since she was 13 or 14. She’s now 22 and still makes videos. However, she started as a “makeup guru” who has now evolved and grown into a a young woman who makes videos authentic and true to her heart. She creates content focused on topics that young and older women alike can relate to. She doesn’t create videos that seem forced or “trendy” to gain subscribers and views.

In a way, that’s how I’m evolving. This blog started as a college project solely focused on music, books, fashion, beauty, etc. Don’t get me wrong. I’m OBSESSED with music. I love reading. I love dressing up and being stylish. I love wearing and learning about makeup and skincare.

But nowadays, as I’m adulting (this term is overused, I know), it feels natural for me to write about how I’m internalizing this transition from post-grad to adulthood. But how long can I use this as an excuse? I’m been adulting for nearly three years. I guess you don’t really have an exact answer until it happens to you. And that can take weeks, months or years.

I love venting  and ranting. I feel like those are the best posts I create. It’s raw and from the heart. In some ways, I’ll tie in music, books, fashion, beauty, etc. into certain topics because in one way or another, it all relates.

This is still Viva and Vida. A blog that celebrates the beauty in life and living. But that sounds like everything is rosy-daisy. Life isn’t always roses, sunshines and rainbows. And in some way, I want to write on topics that reflect the reality of young adults, which can be the opposite.

So there you have it. Another vent/rant post about having more venting/ranting posts in the near future.

-Vanessa

 

Living your Best Life

I sadly think blogging will no longer grab people’s attention.

Heck, I don’t even read many people’s blogs anymore. But I choose to remain active on my blog because I love to write. I love to read.

However, it’s all about Instagram and Youtube, at which people find their inspiration. I can’t say I blame them. It’s instant and visual. You get a real sense of these people who are delivering “inspirational” content, whether it be on fitness, health, lifestyle, fashion, etc.

Or, at least we think we have an idea of who these people are.

I’m almost 25. Twenty-five. 25!!! Oh my gosh. I. Can’t. Even.

I always thought of this age as such a monumental point of life where I would think to have my life together. But that’s only because I would compare myself to those that do.

That’s not how life should work. For you. Or for me. Stop comparing yourself to others and life your best life. Truly. It’s never to late and you can always learn to work toward your happiness, your confidence, your self-esteem and your goals.

You can live your best life. 

I’m in the process of living mine.

I think I’ve stressed in a few of my blog posts that being in your 20s was difficult and confusing. It still is. That hasn’t changed. Everyone has their challenges. Everyone has their own story. I had mine. I continue to have them, which will contribute to my story that I can hopefully tell my future children.

It’s September. This year has flown by and does not continue to slow down.

Let’s rewind to March. I was in a funk. It was difficult to articulate to myself and to my friends. I realized that I just needed to give myself some air to breathe. Step away from Instagram and Facebook. I realized I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. I needed to focus on myself, emotionally, mentally and physically.

I wanted to be more present.

It’s September. The months in between? It was up and down and zig-zagged. My confidence and insecurities have always been wishy-washy. But I’ve learned to be happy and content with my body. I love who I am and who I’m going to be as an individual. Be the kind of person that you want to be friends with or want to date. Once you recognize your strengths and weaknesses–your flaws and all–and truly appreciate your own mind, body and soul, you will glow. Your personality will shine, your smile will radiate. Your presence will stun. You will always look lovely. And they cannot take that away from you. They cannot. No. Because you worked hard for this. You deserve this. Live your best life.

Life may not be perfect, but you have the power to control how you will react to it.

It wasn’t only until a couple weeks ago that I was going to live my best life.

I was coming off a stressful, unfamiliar situation where I didn’t know how to act or react. I was overthinking and that made my week unnecessarily stressful.

I went to the beach that weekend with my mom to beat the heat and for some clarity. I was barely on my phone and having good conversation. Appreciating nature. Enjoying the last weeks of summer. It was, for the most part, all zen.

The following weekend, I went out with a girlfriend, had low expectations of how the night was going to go, and it ended up being a great one.  I went up to a guy and had to tell him he was attractive, because hey, life is too short. Who wouldn’t like to be told that? There’s no harm. OH, and no alcohol was required, which was even more surprising.  I WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS BACK IN MARCH. 

I broke up with my gym last week. And let me tell ya, I feel liberated. I was too stressed over the thought of quitting, which I had been contemplating for a year, so I knew it was time. I love where I’m at physically and mentally, so I can thank the gym for getting to where I’m at now. But now, I want to be more present with nature and different fitness routines where I’m not doing the same, mundane work at the gym.

I’m comfortable being along and doing things by myself. I even ate at a restaurant all by myself. That does take some guts, believe it or not.

I know some people will say that you don’t have to love yourself first before you meet someone, but I don’t think that’s true. You should love yourself, you should fall in love with yourself and realize how special you are. You will learn to realize your worth and what you deserve and not settle.

This is just how I’m going to live my life and I know that lovely thoughts, people and opportunities will follow.

-Vanessa

A Little Food Switch-Up Never Hurt Nobody

Diet. I don’t really like that word. I feel like it has been excessively overused, and frankly, overrated. People these days are all the rage about the latest or trendiest diet to go on, whether as a “lifestyle change” or possibly just for a 21- or 30-day fix. I honestly have no problem with it.

I just don’t like labeling what kinds of foods we’re eating; however, I do believe in “lifestyle change” than a “diet”. You have to make changes for the long-term, not just for the short-term. I also believe in moderation and indulgences, because life is too short and passing up good food would be a sin.

On that note, I’ve been indulging in chips and ice cream lately, but I’ve also been incorporating or switching out foods to my diet for the past two years.

I didn’t really have a goal, in terms of longevity, but I wanted to keep this up for as long as I could. Now, I can’t imagine excluding these foods from my diet!

• Whole grain/whole wheat food products: I used to eat white bread and white rice ALL THE TIME. I occasionally have them once in a while, but now I’m conscious of what I’m putting into my body and white bread is possibly one of the worst foods for you. You can have your cake and eat it too by incorporating whole grain and whole wheat!

• Chia/Flax Seeds: These small little wonders supposedly keeps you full for a longer period of time. Therefore, decreasing your needs to snack several times during the day! They don’t have a strong taste and are small enough to throw onto a salad or into your smoothies! The health benefits are worth the addition.

• Kale and Spinach: Much like the seeds, these greens don’t really have a noticeable taste so it can really be added into anything. OK, so maybe kale can taste a little bitter–what I do is sautee it in a pan with some other veggies and voila! It pretty much taste like spinach by the end of it… which is saying that the bitterness disappears. I absolutely love make kale chips as well if you’re looking for a snacking alternative. Spinach, much like kale, is a veggie that I’ll sautee and add to my breakfast or throw into my smoothies. Again, you can make eating your greens an UNNOTICEABLE thing!

• Coconut Oil: I use this way too much. I use it as a beauty product for my hair and skin and as a substitute for oil and butter. Sometimes, I’ll just take a spoonful as a supplement. If you don’t mind the subtle taste of coconut in your food than this is for you. Enough said.

In general, I’ve been trying to eat fewer dairy products and meat and incorporating more veggies, fruits and lean protein into my meals. That’s not to say I’ve cut out all of my favorite snacks. I could never live without them.

To me, it’s all about balance and finding out what works for you and what you can do to maintain a healthier diet and lifestyle. My diet isn’t perfect and I like how it is right now.

The changes I’ve made have gone beyond what I ever thought was possible for me. And it can be possible for you too! These little changes have helped me become more health-conscious of my food choices, which will stick with me for a while.

Until next time!

-Vanessa

Photos: 1, 2, 3, 4

For Those Struggling With Working Out.. (and Eating Healthy)

I’m at a point in my life where I’m truly happy with my body and mind. That doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily happy with everything else in my life given that I’ve been in post-grad world for nearly a year and somewhat “adulting”. I stress and struggle like every other 20-something-year-old going the same thing. I know that I’m not alone.

One of my best friends told me something last year that holds a lot of truth: You can’t always control who you love or whatever good or bad that happens to you, but you can always control your health (relatively speaking).

It’s our own decision whether we want to work out or eat healthier. No one can do that for you.

Mind you, to get to the place where I am now–it took a good two, three or maybe even 4 years to actually become motivated to work out and incorporate healthier foods into my lifestyle. I’m writing this now because I truly never thought I would be that person who would wake up early to go to the gym, take a pop pilates class and eat a healthy lunch, followed by a handmade smoothie… which is what I’ve done today so far. However, I do have plenty of days where I’ll eat what I want to eat because I feel like it. Everyone is different. But for me, i‘s all about balance and not feeling guilty. If I ever feel too guilty, I just make up for it by working out or eating healthier the next day. Because our health and fitness is what we can always control if we do control it.

Some background:

Before college I could care less about all of that. I hardly ever worked out voluntarily in high school or did sports. I was active every now and then, but I was never the type of person to care for working out. Sure, I was self-conscious like every teenage girl, but I wasn’t too caught up in how my body looked or what I ate. I guess my metabolism did me some favors over the years, but my freshman year of college was when I realized that I should work out.

The “freshman 15” was real for some people. I think I ate less because college dining was horrible. I’d start working out with friends to get into the groove of things, but it was something I never really dedicated myself to. I did it when they would. I wasn’t self-motivated. My sophomore year I had roommates who who consistently work out and was conscious of what they ate. No matter how much they tried to get me to join them, I wasn’t motivated, happy or really passionate to do so. It helped create some good habits, but those didn’t stick around for long.

My junior year I’d say I kicked it up a notch. I had roommates who were trying to lose weight and be their best selves. It was healthy and inspiring to see that. But it never influenced me to really care about what I put into my body or set some goals for my health. I just worked out whenever I wanted to or felt like I should. The internal motivation still wasn’t there for me. My senior year was a turning point. I had roomed with the same girls from my sophomore year and it really helped to keep things up. One did CrossFit, the other ran a marathon and so on. At times they’d ask me to join them on work outs and I’d still say “nah, I don’t feel like it”. It happened a lot. I don’t know what it was. I couldn’t explain it. But the second half of my senior year… after some circumstances and a doctor’s order that I need to eat healthier and be more active, I did start to make changes to my lifestyle, which I still follow today. It did take a while to sink in, however.

But yes, it did take a good few years for me to become the person I am today. It took good friends with the same goals, some doctor visits and life (in general) happening to me to become someone who regularly works out and eats healthier foods.

It wasn’t until my graduation trip to Hawaii that I really started to workout. I had a lot of free time. I was your typical person who would workout almost, if not, everyday to achieve that “bikini body” whatever that is. I wasn’t depriving myself of good food or spending most of my days in the gym. I worked out to YouTube videos every morning for about 30 min-1 hour and called it good. In a way, it prepped me to conquer 4 different hikes during my time in Hawaii. The thrill of that feat was amazing. When I returned from my trip, those good habits of just incorporating healthier foods and working out into my lifestyle was something that I wanted to keep for the long term. In Hawaii, I felt the healthiest and active I’ve ever been. I didn’t want to lose that when I returned home.

Cardio is something… I do not enjoy. Well, mostly running. I don’t enjoy running as much as I like to trick myself into thinking I do. But I’m still not the kind of person who will go outside for a run. Although I will go outside to walk. 🙂

Knowing that cardio is really essential and that I can’t do only YouTube videos forever, I got myself a gym membership. It was 3-month decision that weighed heavily on me. I didn’t want to have to spend money to work out when I was already doing that for free! Never in my life would I have predicted that I would voluntarily get a gym membership. But I knew it would stabilize my workouts and get me into a routine. The classes give me something to look forward to. It motivates me to go to the gym, try something new and feel good about my workouts overall.

This is my longest post yet. But I truly wanted to talk about how I became motivated to get to where I am today and that it IS possible to become a happier/healthier person based on the healthy decisions you make.

It all comes down to motivation and dedication. But it has to be for yourself.

External factors may become the initial motivator but your drive, desire and dedication to become an overall happier and healthier person (which is good for the soul!) is because you want this for you. For the long term. Not just for the summer. It will be a struggle. There will be failure and ups and downs. It may take months or even years. But once it comes around, it’ll stick. And it’ll be worth it. It also doesn’t hurt if you look good doing it. 😉

I know everyone is different. People have their own battles and journeys. It may take faster or longer for some. But, again, it is possible. Don’t doubt yourself.

Hope this inspires you somehow in some way. Happy Sunday!

Photos: 1, 2, 3

-Vanessa