This post is about nine months after the first part. Oops. I guess I needed some time before I put it out there, maybe because it still kind of hurts to relive.
But, I’m really grateful for what it was. It helps to write it out, as I always do.
I’ll keep his name a secret, but let’s call him Landon (in honor of the character in my favorite movie, A Walk to Remember).
I remember the day after I met him, I texted my friend (the one who grew up on the same island as him) all about it. She didn’t really know him or his family, but was familiar.
“Everyone kind of knows or knows of everyone on the island,” she said.
I told her that I should’ve asked for his number.
She texted back, “Well, who knows, maybe you’ll run into him again.”
A WEEK LATER-
I was planning to stay in Saturday night, but my friend (who I went out with) called me saying that her plans got canceled and that we should do the same sushi and club thing again. The exact same sushi restaurant. The exact same club.
I was all for it. What were the chances of seeing him again? It’s never happened before with my luck. But I liked the idea that it was possible.
So my friend and I went back to the same club and were having a great time. But in the back of my mind, I was hoping to see him. Okay yes, I was scoping him out.
In the corner of my eye, there was a guy at the bar that looked awfully like him.
I turned around and asked my friend if that was him or a look-a-like. Her eyes went wide and she nodded, “Oh my gosh, it’s really him!”
I was trying to play it cool because he was with a friend and a couple of girls. I was enjoying myself, after all.
He was standing solo by the bar, and my friend encouraged me to talk to him. Again, I was playing it cool, walking past him as if I going to get water and have no idea he was here.
And just like that..we basically hung out the rest of the night.
We were being goofballs on the dance floor. Everything felt effortless and natural– just being with him. It was almost too perfect. But I didn’t want to use that word. You jinx yourself if you do.
Toward the end of the night, I asked if he wanted my number, to which he said, “of course.”
I was adding my number in his contacts, and I remember telling him, “you’ll never guess my last name, but it’s so easy- it’s two letters.”
“It’s, “__,” right?“
“Wait, what? How did you know that?”
He just smiled and didn’t say anything.
But of course, as millenials, I’m sure he looked me up on social media after the night we met.
And I may have done the same thing…but he doesn’t need to know that.
I never got his number. I just forgot to grab it, even though I was sure I entered mine in to his phone.
Long story short, he never texted, which I thought was odd, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I knew I was going to see him again. The following weekend was St. Patty’s weekend and I told him that night he should go out next Saturday.
Fast forward to St. Patty’s weekend.
I went out with a small group of friends and met up with them at the same club. I don’t think I’ve ever gone out during St. Patty’s weekend, but I knew it was going to be crazy.
The line to get in took maybe five minutes, but it was the longest five minutes ever. I went with my other friend, who I convinced to go out with me (so that she could have a glimpse of Landon, lol).
As soon as we entered, we could barely make our way through. It was jammed-packed. My friend and I quickly went to the bathroom and afterward, met up with my other friends in an open corner.
This time, I was scoping and seeking him out right away. It was obvious.
I’ll admit I was playing a little hard to get when he approached me. I was disappointed that he never texted me. I acted a little petty. Of course, he didn’t owe me a text, but I was naive to think he would. There was no point on dwelling on it, since we both knew we wanted to enjoy the night together.
St. Patty’s night…was a fun memory. We held hands naturally, our conversations just flowed, and our personalities just clicked.
You know that feeling when you get butterflies and feel nervous? I really believed that this is how you feel when you meet that special someone. I held on to that belief for so long, it was all I knew.
However… he came out of nowhere and suddenly, with him…there were no butterflies.
I felt comfortable and calm.
There was a moment when he took me away from the chaos to sit outside. Some people were smoking, and he noticed that I instantly covered my nose.
“I’m going to be honest, I used to smoke, but I quit a year ago.”
“What made you quit?”
“My sister.”
Him saying his sister.. my interest was piqued.
“Older or younger?”
“Younger.”
And my heart melted a little.
“What do you like to do for fun?”
I dread that question. I honestly don’t know. I can find fun in a lot of things. I think I told him I like to hike, cook, and read, to name a few. I also wanted to impress him, so I said I love to watch basketball (a true statement). He then went on a tangent on how he grew up playing basketball on the island, and how he was one of the best.
I was talking about my brothers being in the military, and Landon also said he was in the Marines. I did not plan to meet another Marine….
He said that he was planning to move to Hawaii within the next six months.
Then and there, my heart kind of sank.
“No way. I wish I met you sooner.”
“Well, six months is a long time.”
Before I knew it, his friend interrupted our conversation.
We ditched his friend and went back to the dancefloor and talked a bit more, but the moment was cut short earlier than I wanted. He had to be responsible and look after his friend who wanted to leave because he was hungry.
I remember before he left, we just looked at each other for a few seconds, like, I’m not sure when I’ll see you again.
I went back to my friends (yes, I didn’t forget them) and texted him not too long after (and yes, we finally exchanged numbers).
It was an amazing night. I still smile thinking about it.
I also had a date with someone else the very next day. I started talking to him on the dating app before I met Landon. Since we were already talking, I figured that a date with this guy made sense.
But my mind was elsewhere. I already knew that I’d rather see Landon again.
I had a little panic attack right before the date. I knew I completely lost interest in this other guy, especially given how much fun I had with Landon the night before.
The date was friendly. We got to know each other, but the whole conversation felt forced. I never gave it a chance since I was already mentally and emotionally checked out.
I think we both knew right away that this was going to be the first and last date, so we both stuck it out for the sake of it.
At one point, he got up to use the bathroom, and it seemed like he was gone for 15 minutes. He took a phone call from a friend, and the situation, as he explained it to me, was ridiculous and not worth leaving for that long.
“It was really nice meeting you, have a great night.”
And that’s how that date ended.
I texted Landon that night.
We were texting throughout the week, and Landon finally said that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. If I was looking for a relationship, he didn’t want to waste my time.
On the outside I was telling everyone that I was keeping my options open, not looking for anything serious, because I wasn’t. Not now, anyway. However, deep down I knew that I was beginning to really like him.
So that’s what I told him. Not about beginning to like him. No… that’s another story.
I was lying to myself to keep him around, to continue talking to him.
We both met up again the following weekend, but this time, it felt like our first, real date.
It was at a different bar, and for once, it was just the two of us.
It was kind of perfect.
-Vanessa
Viva and Vida 